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21 October 读 王小慧《双子座·对话中的王小慧》，这是我读的关于王小慧的第二本中文图书。
可以说，第一本《我的视觉日记》在那个懵懵懂懂的年代里是我的一个指向标，对事业的执着，对德国的向往，对爱情的憧憬……她的一切那么具有戏剧性、甚或有些悲情，而在我看来那些都是完整的，甚至是完美的人生。
正如慕尼黑市长吾德所介绍的，王小慧是一位非常著名的摄影家、一位来自中国的建筑师、一位典型的巴伐利亚知识分子、一位作家、一位文化交流使者、一位艺术家……
而我仅仅是她出版书籍的读者。
在《双子座》的序中有这样一句话：……“你由衷地想要去给予，是爱；你给予的又是对方所需要的，是幸福”，同样，要让身边的人感觉幸福，也应该让他们感觉到自己是被需要的，而我总是习惯性的自己打理一切，让给多人都无奈的只是爱着 而没有幸福，我想我会学会需要别人，至少，让我的家人，因为我同样需要他们而充满幸福。
爸爸、妈妈，我需要你们，爱你们。 15 July 怀念季羡林老先生每每不如意的时候，读一读季老的文字，会豁然开朗，正如 《有的人》 有的人活着，他已经死了；有的人死了，他还活着。有的人骑在人民头上：“呵，我多么伟大！”有的人俯下身子给人民当牛马。有的人把名字刻入石头，想“不朽”；有的人情愿作野草，等着地下的火燃烧。有的人他活着别人就不能活；有的人他活着为了多数人更好地活。骑在人民头上的人民把他摔倒；给人民作牛马的人民永远记住他！把名字刻在石头上的名字比尸首烂得更早；只要春风吹到的地方到处是青青的野草。他活着别人就不能活的人，他的下场可以看到；他活着为了多数人更好地活着的人，群众把他抬举得很高，很高。 01 July 离开奥组委的日子匆匆忙忙中没来得及和所有的人告别，就离开了奥运大厦。
忙忙碌碌中没来得及和别人一样伤感，就开始计划起新生活。
冷静的回想过去，写一些心得，重新审视一下自己，改进自己，完善自己。
05 May 等待生活中处处在等待，人、事、物，其实等待的过程中包含了很多很多，忐忑不安的心情，左右摇摆的决定，毛毛躁躁的行为……
所以果断显得那么难能可贵，让自己平静和理智，找到目标，然后投入其中，再次寻找那种不可阻挡的激情和动力。
放弃我该放弃的，就算茫茫然不知所措，只要是决定了就不能回头。
回到原点，重新测算半径，画一个完美的圆圈，填充得满满的，即便是伤痕累累也会很圆满。 03 May 定陵地宫平生第一次，我走进了定陵地宫。
一直以来我都排斥对于历史的研读，所以随着石阶一层层的向下延伸，我这心里就越发地感觉阴森，究其原因，是我这心里没底啊，就在身边的几百年前的实实在在的一座地宫。真正的面对了，才觉得真的该懂的历史，至少他会让我面对眼前的一切能够保持平静，而不是惭愧和心虚。
古语云：读万卷书不如行万里路，有些事情必须要真实的面对了才能感受其中，学会面对和改进自己。 26 April 乱！乱！乱！理想转化为目标，目标分解成计划，一项一项的达成，可最终发现并没有实现理想。这对于我而言是颠覆性的灾难，也否定了我一直以来坚守的生存之道~~
放下一切，回到起点，这是boss给我的忠告，寻找问题的所在，真实的面对自己，剥离一些虚华的东西，赤裸裸的问题就会浮出水面。
我尝试着，仿佛找到了问题所在，却还是觉得没有出路，仿佛站在了没有方向的十字路口，怎一个乱字了得啊~~
还好，我是那种超级理性、容易乐观的人，偶尔的神经一下也就过了，不过估计吓到某些人了。
希望我最终的决定能给关心我的每个人都带来一丝惊喜和安慰，一个全新的我，有进步的我，成长的我。 24 April The city of life and death 南京！南京！今天约了某男去看了《南京！南京！》，英译名称更为直观一些，但是南京！南京！更加震撼。
最近看了很多关于这部电影的报道，也看了很多资料，一直犹豫着该不该去看这部电影，灰色、黯淡、压抑，明明白白的事实，真真切切的心痛，又何必让自己再次感受其中呢？
但是，最终还是走进了电影院……大概出于本能的自我保护意识，自始至终我都没有完全融入电影，更像是个旁观者，任各种画面在眼前闪过，不去思考、不去理解、更不去感受其中；这大概就是为什么我周围的人泣不成声，而我却依然平静的原因吧。
这是一部需要用心去感受的电影，我想我会一个人再次的体会其中，面对历史和心灵。 08 March 婚礼之后今天，参加了一个婚礼，见到了很多许久没有见到的长辈、朋友。很有些物是人非的感觉。
没有过多的攀谈，如过客般匆匆，相聚、散去，少了些往日的热情，多了些忙碌。
当然的，我是其中谈论的话题，很简单，同辈的朋友中，只有我还徘徊在婚姻这个殿堂之外，我固执的笑容让大家也无所适从吧。
我已经试图打破这种固执的坚持，多给我些时间吧！ 15 February Valentine's Day这个情人节收到的最贴心的礼物就是那一句：“丫头，情人节快乐！”感觉我像是个还没长大的孩子，可以有天真无邪的笑容。
by the way, 普及一下有关情人节的历史。
The History of Valentine's Day Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day — and its patron saint — is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men — his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl — who may have been his jailor's daughter — who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France. While some believe that Valentine's Day is celebrated in the middle of February to commemorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial — which probably occurred around 270 A.D — others claim that the Christian church may have decided to celebrate Valentine's feast day in the middle of February in an effort to 'christianize' celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival. In ancient Rome, February was the official beginning of spring and was considered a time for purification. Houses were ritually cleansed by sweeping them out and then sprinkling salt and a type of wheat called spelt throughout their interiors. Lupercalia, which began at the ides of February, February 15, was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the Roman founders Romulus and Remus. To begin the festival, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman priests, would gather at the sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome, were believed to have been cared for by a she-wolf or lupa. The priests would then sacrifice a goat, for fertility, and a dog, for purification. The boys then sliced the goat's hide into strips, dipped them in the sacrificial blood and took to the streets, gently slapping both women and fields of crops with the goathide strips. Far from being fearful, Roman women welcomed being touched with the hides because it was believed the strips would make them more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day, according to legend, all the young women in the city would place their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would then each choose a name out of the urn and become paired for the year with his chosen woman. These matches often ended in marriage. Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine's Day around 498 A.D. The Roman 'lottery' system for romantic pairing was deemed un-Christian and outlawed. Later, during the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds' mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of February — Valentine's Day — should be a day for romance. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. The greeting, which was written in 1415, is part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England. Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois. In Great Britain, Valentine's Day began to be popularly celebrated around the seventeenth century. By the middle of the eighteenth century, it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes. By the end of the century, printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine's Day greetings. Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first mass-produced valentines in America. According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated one billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. (An estimated 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.) Approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. In addition to the United States, Valentine's Day is celebrated in Canada, Mexico, the United Kingdom, France, and Australia. Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages (written Valentine's didn't begin to appear until after 1400), and the oldest known Valentine card is on display at the British Museum. The first commercial Valentine's Day greeting cards produced in the U.S. were created in the 1840s by Esther A. Howland. Howland, known as the Mother of the Valentine, made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as "scrap". 07 February 大大的晴天今天北京的天气格外好，站在太阳暖洋洋的光线中，周围的一切变得灰暗了，失去了色彩，只有心暖暖的。
站在墙角，没有了阳光，它又把周围的一切重新涂抹上了鲜艳的色彩，很是神奇！
就是喜欢这样大大的晴天。心情格外好！ 06 February Vicky Cristina Barcelona08 December LINE 10真快崩溃了
 今天早上坐地铁上班，边儿上的哥哥居然从作业本上一张一张的撕纸擦鼻涕……@#￥%……真是看不下去……无意间左手无名指上的戒指
 彻底晕倒！！！ 这媳妇儿出门的时候也不给装包纸巾呀``````真够难受的！亏他还手捧
Influencer: The Power to Change Anything 貌似读到了Find Vital Behaviors这一个章节 15 September 收尾工作中国有句俗话：“天下没有不散的宴席”，说起来平常，当离散的时刻到来的时候，还是不由自主……感伤
随他去吧，有时候人不能太过拘束自己的情感
好在眼前还有很多要忙碌的工作，顾不得太多。
我总是不习惯分离的场面，能珍惜现在的更轻松，更容易面对吧！
呵呵~~忙忙碌碌收尾，轻轻松松离开吧。 12 August 中国男子佩剑首金击剑几乎对所有人来说都是陌生的运动，已经记不起我为什么执着的关注着这项运动：剑客们针锋相对的霸气，中世纪般的绅士风度，女剑客的飒爽英姿……或是难懂的规则、复杂的战术……，每一项都足够吸引我。
2004年“三剑客”与意大利的巅峰对决，我们展示了实力和剑客应有的风度，为那一枚银牌落泪的同时，那种复杂的心情才是终生难忘的。
为了金牌，我们又等待了四年，就让我们静静的体会那个瞬间，那些即将成为回忆的画面。
10 August 恶性循环最近的状态很是不好。
大概是到了一个瓶颈，明明知道自己有问题了，想解决却又在忙忙乱乱之中无从入手。
于是开始怀念过去，那种井井有条，又充满激情的工作方式。
怀念大家在一起分享生活和工作感受的那些点点滴滴。
在一个陌生的领域，仅仅因为兴趣，而一直坚持，而结果却是丢了自己，到现在为止我已经不能确定我的选择是否正确，但是理智又告诉我做事情应该有始有终，既然开始了，就应该坚持到最后，即便是失败，也会从中得到些什么。
但是，我必须首先解决自己的问题，我想我需要时间，不用很长，2天，足矣，放松自己，好好看看自己，就会豁然开朗，重新找回自己。
lulu说的很对，这样的活着，绝对不是nanan，我早已经背离了自己的轨迹，需要重新并进轨道才能正常的运行。
谢谢朋友们百忙之中还听我唠叨~~给我建议，让我有勇气再去找到最真实的自己。
人生中，我第一次感受这样的恶性循环，很可怕，也很无措。
我想我需要休息~~需要一个可以思考的空间和时间……
谢谢DD今天给我的电话，让我觉得很温暖，很贴心，可是睡个好觉了~~
20 May 打靶归来真不容易，终于我的胳膊可以活动自如了。
周五下午，和同事们一起去靶场好好过了过瘾，手枪、步枪都试了一下，果然，我不是那个材料~~尽管如此，还是有个9环入帐，相当不容易了。
泉的锁骨都是血印，我表面看来没有任何“痕迹”，回家才发现都已经肿了……真是惭愧呀…… 01 March 北京珍贵的雨水实在是太难得了，北京今天淅沥沥的飘起了小雨，没有冬天的北京就这样已经悄悄地走进了春天。
没有雪的北京是让人失望的，灰蒙蒙的天空永远不会惹人喜爱，突然之间好像已经不认识这个我最熟悉的地方了。
希望今年的春天是个湿润润的季节，没有风沙，没有疾病…… |
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